Great News!!!

Well I mixed up the appointment with Dr. Moriarty, and wasn't supposed to see him until next week ahhhhh! But I was able to talk to Dr. Nosher's office and he called me back to go over the report with me.

I said the tumor showed "marked improvement, with very minimal metabolic activity. And there is no new growth." And along with that I had gotten news earlier in the week that my CEA was 5!!!!!!

What does this mean? It means the tumor is dying. The last pet scan we did 3 months ago it, in Dr. Nosher's words, "lit up like a Christmas tree." That basically means there was a lot of metabolic activity and the stinkin' thing was alive and well. Now there was very minimal glowing. Dr. Nosher was very happy and spoke to Dr. Moriarty and HE was very happy. And they are excited about the results.

We are reeling with happiness, and joy, and are so grateful to God and all who have been praying for us to make this possible. Thank you so much.

I will see Dr. Moriarty next week and discuss this all to a greater extent but we are floating on a cloud, and just reveling in the great news.

We are now off to celebrate my big sister's 40th birthday today. What an awesome day!!

Love, love, love,
Karen

... These Go To 11

The title there is a little homage to any Spinal Tap fans out there. Such a hilarious movie, I highly recommend it.

Spinal Tap clip to give a chuckle

It is also a bit of a clue into some great news I've been keeping close to the vest over the last few weeks. My recent CEA has come in at, you guessed it, 11!

My previous number before the sir-spheres procedure was around 160. Then it went to 180 then to 227. Then Kathy called me about 2 months ago to tell me it was 51! I said to her "can you repeat that?" I genuinely thought she must have said 151, but she said, "five, one." I was elated. That was the first drop we had seen in my CEA since October of 2009. Then she called about a month later and said we were at 11! Well, it is actually 11.7 but I figure I'm not in school anymore so I don't have to round up, do I?

So this news is very encouraging. Numbers dropping indicate the tumor is dying. I have a pet/ct scan scheduled for February 2nd (happy bday Jen) and will meet with Dr. Moriarty on the 4th. I am optimistic and hopeful, but I have to add I am cautious as well.

I don't really know what to expect to happen after this. Nobody knows. This isn't a cancer where doctors tell you it's "very treatable" and "we expect you'll do well."

Now in all fairness Dr. Moriarty doesn't tell me the opposite of that but at the end of the day it's a stage 4 cancer. It's very easy and good to hear/get good news, good results. I don't, have to prepare myself for that, or the miracle we are all praying for. But I do have a parallel line running through my head right next to hope and faith that says "just prepare and brace for a long future with this or for things to turn the wrong way."

I think that's normal right? What more can I do?

I guess what I am driving at is that if we have the scans and the tumor is dead, or gone, then there will be no words to describe that joy. However, it doesn't mean it's gone for good. Having the recurrence post surgery keeps me grounded in that reality.

But at the end of the day my life is good. I haven't been on any chemo since mid-August, and let me tell you that is NICE! That can change too at any moment but Dr. Moriarty is trying to hold that at bay, while killing this thing with more local treatments if he can and if he thinks it's the best treatment to do so.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. They mean SO much to me. And please let's continue to pray for those who continue to get diagnosed everyday. The shock is mind-numbing. We recently had a friend diagnosed with breast cancer,and within weeks she has had a double mastectomy and now after recovery faces chemo and radiation. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.

I really do continue to pray for all who pray for me especially those who are going through cancer, and keep me so strong by their examples of bravery, good humor, and faith. Faith can be a toughie and I admit that I have been flailing a bit over the last year with it all. But for me at the end of the day, it is Jesus who keeps me calm when I am terrified, brings me comfort when I feel alone, and I know when you feel stripped of it all, I know He is there, and He brings me hope.

I think I have mentioned I hate cancer, I hate having it, and I hate it for everyone else who has it. But life is here in my face saying "live me girl!" And I say back to life "will do...word!"

Love,
Karen

Post-Turkey Day Update

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all, which includes my Irish family - I ate for you as well! I hope everyone had a peaceful and happy holiday.

I don't have any news that is make or break. I won't have a scan done until the end of January/beginning of February. If they did a scan now the Dr's wouldn't really be able to differentiate between what is inflammation, tumor, dead tumor, or scar tissue. So we wait. We wait until the inflammation and all settles down. I go to Robert Wood Johnson (rwj) hospital every 2 weeks for blood work, and follow up stuffthen I'll go once a month then every 2 etc. I also of course, continue to see Dr. Moriarty every two weeks so I can ask him if I can be done with cancer now, because it is like really, really, totally, like totally, totally lame...poor guy - I always ask impossible questions.

Before and up until Thanksgiving I was feeling pretty crappy. I felt like I had the flu, with muscle-aches, headaches, and a raging fever (but I didn't have a fever). Dr. M. said it was radiation poisoning, which almost sounds redundant to me. I thought he was kidding. I asked him if he was, but he said it is actually a real thing. However thanks to Fran who was home from wed. before Thanksgiving until the Monday and I was able to get a lot of rest (thank you dear) and I have been feeling much better. It really can't compare to being on chemo but I just want to put the info out there for anyone interested.

I am kind of glad that we have to wait for scans. Dr. M. says he isn't putting me back on chemo until we know what the deal is and so in the interim, we are having what I would call a "quiet section." I say quiet section because as my fellow cancer com padres know, or anyone who is close to cancer knows, your life kind of moves in 3 months increments. That's how it feels to me anyway. So right now we are having a quiet 3 month section. I know that the tumor is dying (supposed to be anyway) so there is not much more I can do right now but let that happen.

Thank you everyone for all your support, prayers, emails, messages, hugs, smiles, friendship and love. I am so humbled and awed that after almost 4 years the support and love that our family has received is as strong if not stronger than ever. I genuinely find myself taken aback at how much people do for us and continue to do for our family many who I don't even know. People just give of themselves wanting nothing in return - amazing. For my kids, my husband and myself I say "thank you.

People are amazing, and you all really humble me to be a better friend, a better person because of all of your support. I hope I can support and love people the way myself and my family have been loved, and supported.

Again, thank you and let's keep praying for each other eh?

Love,
Karen

Still Glowing

So as Fran mentioned the sir-sphere procedure went well. Dr. Nosher told me that the scan they took immediately following the procedure showed the intense uptake of the spheres in the tumor. That's great news. Now we just sit and wait.

I am doing fine. Could feel better could feel worse. I came home from Chris and Kate's a bit early cause I just couldn't take being away from the kids any longer, though it was hard to leave a place where you are waited on hand and foot and with so much love. It was also great to hang out with Chris and Kate which is something I don't get to do very often. Thank you guys (and Steve and Gio) for sharing your home and taking such good care of me.

In the interest of any other readers who might be getting this procedure, or are just curious, the recovery isn't that bad. Though I have decided today that I hate physical recovery in all forms it's annoying and always takes longer than you think and so on, and so on, complain, complain, complain. The biggest thing is I have very low energy and no appetite. I feel kind of nauseous but I think that's because of my appetite being off.

Anyway that's about it. Fran took great care of the kids, doing all their school stuff and keeping them happy and comforted. Thanks to all our family and friends for your support. We really appreciate it and it helps us more than you can ever know.

Love,
Karen

SIR Spheres Radiation

Karen's doing well. Just a brief note by way of update: Karen spent the day in Robert Wood Johnson receiving the radiation portion of her SIR Spheres treatment. She is recuperating, very nauseous and utterly exhausted.

Her CEA was measured, it was 189 for those keeping track and will be monitored in the coming months to determine how effective the treatment has been.

She'll spend the week with Chris and Kate to avoid giving the kids a permanent sun tan if you know what I mean. Daddy daycare is fully operational although classes are full and we are not accepting new applicants.

SIR Spheres Embolization

Karen's doing well. She's in the hospital at Robert Wood Johnson getting a scheduled procedure done currently and I'm headed there soon. She asked to update the blog so here goes.

Today is step one in her radiation treatment. There are two steps. Today (now) Doctor Nosher at Robert Wood Johnson is blocking off certain pathways within her liver's blood stream. This will allow the radiation treatment (scheduled for next Tuesday 26th) to flow to the tumor within her liver.

She left early this morning and is expected home this evening. I got the kids off to school, ran a few errands and am headed there now.

UPDATE: karen's done and all went fine, she has to lay flat on her back for the next 6hours or so. Will be home tonight.

Scan News - Not Great, Not Terrible

Greetings ya'll! I hope everyone is enjoying the end of their summers.

I had an MRI done on Monday to see the progress of the last 5 months of treatment and Fran and I met with Dr. Moriarty this morning. The tumor is, of course, still there in my liver. It did grow but not by much.

My last scan was March 18th 2010, but that was post cryoablation and there was still inflammation and swelling so the measurement of that tumor would not be accurate. So since last Oct/Nov the tumor was 1.6 by 1.3 cm., and this measurement was 2.9 by 1.9 cm. There was no new growth found in my liver or elsewhere. The MRI didn't scan my lungs and I am very paranoid about having tumors there, so I asked Dr. Moriarty about that and about getting a CT scan done. He said he doesn't and isn't very concerned that there is tumor growth but he has scheduled one for me regardless.

He also wants to take a different treatment plan approach. It is called SIR-spheres, or (SIRT-spheres) and is another targeted, localized therapy like ablation but it involves radiation without damaging healthy liver tissue.

Dr. Moriarty wants us to see a Dr. John Nosher out of Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick, so we will be setting that stuff up over the next week or so. Since we are looking at a different treatment option path I get a bit of a break from chemo and erbitux Hurrrrrayyyy!!! That made me very happy to hear, part of me didn't care what the reason was, I am just so happy to get a break, give my family a break, and be able to focus on getting Sydney settled into first grade, and Ethan into his last year in preschool, or rather pre-k (just to be official).

The reason(s) Moriarty is changing things up, is, to my understanding,

1. because the spheres work by flowing through the blood vessels feeding the tumor - and a major one (the inferior vena cava or IVC) is. I am a good candidate for this procedure,
2. it gives my mind and body a break from chemo, and if it's successful will give me more time with a hopefully dead tumor until some new treatment comes down the pike.

I do have chemo options (thank God), but this is just another treatment we can use to get this tumor defunct.

So it's kind of a mixed bag of emotions. At the end of the day it still rots to have cancer. But I am grateful that being someone that has stage 4 CC, has it in one localized area and that in the past year it hasn't grown much or anywhere else due to the different treatments I have been able to get.

I am also very grateful to have Dr. Moriarty as my oncologist. He has never been idle in treating me and this stupid disease. I know I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.

When we get the full picture of what's going on next I will definitely be updating. I hope everyone had a great summer. We had an awesome time going camping, going to Texas and we just returned from an amazing time in Topsail, North Carolina playing on the beach everyday. The summer went by so fast, but I am looking forward to the fall and some cooler weather, and seeing what the next few months hold for us.

God Bless.

Love,
Karen