Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wow...

Hello my friends. Well here it is. I had my 3 month scan done on August 11th. Saw my life-saving Dr. Moriarty on August 16th.

God blows you away with the bad in life, and then blows you away with the incredibly great!! My scan stated that in regards to my liver tumor it showed "continued improvement," and "minimal activity," oh and then there is my favorite "no new evidence of disease." Uh, yuh-huh, that's what I said too. But after being wound up tighter than anything, convinced the my lucky streak was due to be over, it took a day or two for the news to actually sink in.

This has been the best summer of my life, and after this past Tuesday, the happiest I have EVER been in my life. Since Tuesday I keep thinking back, back and back to when I met Dr. Moriarty. My body was dying then. I have thought about this a lot. I didn't realize it too much at the time, but over the last few years, how I had been internally physically feeling, how sick I was, yes, my body was dying. That is why right now at this minute I feel sheer, pure, happiness.

I have been off of chemo for a solid year (which adds to this miracle). I can feel life, taste life, like you can feel the moisture in the air on a humid day. When I go for walks lately sometimes I just stop, let the sun hit me and breathe in nice and deep, because I can, and nothing hurts, or aches, or burns.

Why I am still here, I do not know. I am genuinely stupefied. Why my body has responded to treatment well, yet no so well in my dear friends who have passed, I do not know. But I know I am very lucky, very grateful, and very humbled.

I have stage 4 colon cancer. I welcome the miracle along with the absurdity of being cured. That's easy to want, effortless even, but hard to come by. But I revel even in this, that still having cancer, I can live my life unimpeded. Striving to be a better person today than I was yesterday, because each day I wake up I feel like God swoops down and hands me this crystal clear, beautiful present. I open it each morning and inside is today. I say to Him "thank you God for the gift of life today."

Deeply, deeply I thank you for all your prayers and support, love and friendship. I am so grateful to you all. And to Dr. Moriarty, my coach, my healer, my friend thank you for getting me so very far. I am forever indebted to you.

Much love,
Karen