Sunday, August 10, 2008

Life is Sweet

Our Friday meeting with the wonderous Dr. Dan was great. I was ready to hear what he had to say, and take Don Macleod's words of wisdom to heart, "get the most you can out of your chemo."

Dr. Moriarty said that Dr. Ravikumar was really excited and happy with the most recent scans and really impressed. He couldn't believe how small things have gotten. Both Dr.'s are hoping that if the Oct/Nov PET scan comes back negative there will be no surgery involved. This is a good thing. I know Dr. Moriarty does not want to do surgery again if we can demolish this crap with chemo/erbitux and anything else that doesn't involve major surgery. Why? Because surgery too has its pitfalls and problems that comes along with it, and bottom line both he and Dr. Ravi agree it will not increase my chance for a cure/survival any more than other treatment options at this point.

As far as going back on chemo the plan is this. I will continue with Erbitux every two weeks for the next 3 months (erbitux is an anti-cancer drug not a chemo drug). We will watch my CEA level which Dr. Dan said has been very sensitive up until this point and we will watch that to determine wether to throw the cpt-11 (chemo) back in. Basically if it starts to go up a lot I am back on chemo and that is totally fine with me. I feel that I have regrouped and I am ready to "have at it" as it were if necessary. I am very lucky that my chemo is still effective and that my tumors have continued to respond this long.

In regards to the great news two weeks ago things have been amazing. I feel that I just walked away from a 20 car pile-up on the highway completely unscathed. I have experienced joy that I never felt before and a freedom from a constant underlying fear and panic that I have been dealing with for almost a year and a half. I am so very grateful to God. Miracles may not happen overnight but they do happen. Our prayers don't always seem to be answered the way we think they need to be but they are answered beyond our wildest dreams.

I said to Dr. Dan on Friday that when I came to see him in May of 07 "I was on death row right?" and he said "Karen, you were very, very sick. And I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt, you are in the top 5 of all time best responders to treatment I have ever seen." I have chills right now relaying that. I said to him that that was great but also very scary.

Jesus said that all we need is the faith of a mustard seed to move mountains. I remember being a little girl and if I saw mountains I would say to myself "okay Jesus move that mountain." Of course that hasn't happened until now and its not because of my faith but of all you amazing, amazing, giving people who have been praying for me and asking others to pray for me and my family. It is because of your faith I am going to live to be old and full of wrinkles.

I cannot tell you how humbling it is and I continue to thank you all from the bottom of my heart and my family's. Please know I pray for you all as well. I know I continue to have a long road ahead but I have a road, and I get to walk on it with all those whom I love. Thank you God.

I will continue to meet with Dr. Dan every two weeks before I go have my erbitux as we watch and see how things go. You are all in my prayers and thank you just doesn't express how grateful I am that all of you and your love and prayers have gotten me so far. Jesus loves each of us and always hears us.



karagh said...

You are amazing! I think you've got the faith of a whole jar of mustard!
With love and prayers!
Glenmore Ave Kara

Anurag Shrivastava said...

Hi Francis,
I reached your blog through on Francis's comment on mine. I wanted to reply to your comment but that can wait.
Didn't know about Karen's Cancer.
I am not an atheist but a non-believer when it comes to God. But I do think good people always win at the end.
So keep up and all my wishes are with you.

Anonymous said...

Karen, THIS IS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

Wow. I love it!

God bless you!

Anonymous said...

Your incredible strength physically, mentally and spiritually continue to amaze me. You are a shining light to us all. All our prayers are with you every step of the way. Jesus and chemo are doing the business!
Love you loads.
Love Teresa, Mike and the boys. xxxx

Suzi Kirkham said...

You are inspiring to me and your words bring tears to my eyes. I have followed your story ever since my late husband was diagnosed 11 months ago. I don't know what God's plans are and why he took my husband, but I know that he is great and suspect he has some amazing plans for you.
Keep fighting the fight, my prayers are with you. oooooooo

paul said...

If you could bottle and sell the stuff you have, you'd be richer than Bill Gates.


Kristin, G & R'smom said...

mountains can move...
we are praying, and SO HAPPY for good news...I am all about good news! : )

live strong...always hope...

and I'm glad I'm not the only kid who tried that mountain thing ! : )

Kristin, Genna & Rosie's mom

Anonymous said...

I am constantly amazed by how strong your faith is. I believe you could walk on water! I am so happy to read this news today although I had heard some of the facts, when I read this blog it's so real compared. I believe you have had a huge effect on a lot of people and made them realise each day we have is precious. I know I'm one of them. Love to you, Fran, and the little people - Jim