Thursday, February 27, 2014

It's All Good

Hello to all my family, friends, and loved ones. It has been such a long time.  As you all my or may not know, my scan schedule is now every six months. I had a full body scan in January and am here to fill you in.

There but for the grace of God go I. My scans were completely clean. Abdomen, chest, pelvis-unremarkable. No signs of metastatic disease. 

When I am blessed to get news like this it takes me time to absorb and contemplate. I never think my scans are going to be good simply because the last scans were. Cancer doesn't work that way. With stage 4 cancer it will never work that way. So it took me awhile to sit down, write and update everyone because I just need time to think, to believe it was true. So I thank you for your patience with me.

I am still seeing Dr. Moriarty every month and get my blood work done. My numbers are still good staying around 4 or 5, without any great leaps into higher numbers thank God.

I am still working two days a week, doing my dental hygiene thing. However my schedule has changed where I work on Mondays and Fridays and that has helped me physically regroup on those days off, as my immune system is crap and I have the stamina of a 90 year old. But that's very cool with me and I'll take it.

Life is great, but it can also be very difficult. I have been thinking so much about these opposing forces. Life is hard, it comes in so many forms, this hardness of life. The burdens we all carry. Be patient with one another because you may not know what heavy burden that person is dealing with that day. Be forgiving, it too, can be difficult, especially with those we love.
When we are on our deathbed, we may have the blessing, or sometimes the curse, of time before you pass.  You want to know you can be proud of your life. I think we all know our lives can never be based on our careers, or money, or things. They will always be based on how we loved and gave of ourselves, especially in the most difficult of circumstances. You can never take material things with you. What you had or didn't have in this life is pointless. But your love, or lack of love for others will remain.

I have thought I was going to die many times over these last years and I have lost so many friends. I am blessed with having some time now to live. I have been trying to live in the moment, in the day I am in, and trying to be concsious of loving, listening and being still. I fail many times. But I keep trying.
Life is such a gift my friends. Please don't sweat the small stuff, it's just not worth it.


Thank you all for your continued love and support. Let's keep praying for each other-we all need it.

Love to all,
Karen 




8 comments:

KKovacs said...

Awesome news Karen, and your words of what is important in life are a much needed reminder for all of us. I could use that daily to put things in perspective! So happy for you, I have you in my daily prayers that you may never again get a bad scan, high tumor marker, and you live to a happy old age!

Anonymous said...

Great news. Your message on the meaning of life is very much appreciated. It's so hard to grasp such things until you've been there and your experience gives you "eye witness" credibility. Thank You.

Anonymous said...

Karen. All that I can tell you is that I will continue to follow your blog and I will be very happy for your continuing recovery (cure comes to mind) and increasing strength and stamina.

John (I've posted before and will again)

Anonymous said...

Karen,

As someone who had a similar diagnosis and also lives in NJ (had my first at St Barnabas) I always check your blog periodically to see how you are. It was with such joy that I read your post about your continued NED status. May you be continually blessed with good health and loving family. Those are what matter.

K.M. Camiolo said...

huzzah and huzzah.
You go!
peace,
the Cams Crew

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen, I just finished reading most of your blog and you are a true inspiration. A friend of mine has just been diagnosed with stage IV cancer, and you've given me a much better understanding of what that means and how she may be feeling. You've helped relieve me of some of the fear I have about speaking to her after her diagnosis.
I will continue to follow your blog. You will remain in my thoughts.
Be well,
Christine

Cammie said...

I'm so happy for you Karen! My mom also has Stage Four Colon cancer and reading about those who have gone through the process is extremely helpful.

I just turned 30 and will be getting my PhD in the next year as long as I don't need to take major breaks to take care of my mom(I already needed to take a semester off but she can take care of herself now). I'm trying to decide where to look for a job as a professor-close are far to my mom and every time I try to plan for the future it is so confusing. I don't know how long she'll need help for. She could potentially die before I even get the job making it unnecessary to limit my job search to her hometown. She could live for five more years, making it silly to plan to be able to take care of her in the short term when it is far down the road. Seeing another family's decision making process is helpful to me. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so glad you are okay.

Anonymous said...

Hi there Karen, I'm Lindsey! I have a question and would love to speak with you. Please email me when you can, thanks!! lindseyDOTcaldwellATrecallcenterDOTcom