Friday, August 28, 2009

Another Crystal Clear Hurdle

Well I'll just be out with it then. We met with Dr. Moriarty today. To be honest I was a nervous wreck. By the time we got into the waiting room my heart was pounding in my chest. The last two weeks have been an especially mentally torturous. I just knew there had to be something wrong. I was ready to hear the bad. Did I know what that meant? No. But I was really expecting it.

I thought for sure this time I would be meeting with the chemo nurses, scheduling appts, preparing my family, telling myself to get ready for treatments, get ready to go bald. I couldn't get my head out of this place, that something would be there on the scans.

By the time I was in the exam room waiting for Dr. Dan I was in tears. They just were flowing and I couldn't stop them. Super nurses Kathy and Kim came in and said we just asked Moriarty what the scans were like so you wouldn't sit here suffering and he said "great" that they are "great." I just couldn't believe it. They were like "hey aren't you happy?" and I just was to afraid to believe it.

Then he poked his head in before seeing the patient waiting before me, and said "they're great!" I thought to myself I need to see the scans. I needed to look at that liver.

Then he comes in and puts the report in front of me and says "here look." He points to the last sentence "No evidence of new metastatic lesion." So then of course I go over some organs, "nothing in the ovaries? lung? pancreas?? nothing??? "Karen there's nothing."

"Can I see the scans??????? "

"Yesssss Kaaaren you can see the scans." So my amazing Dr. Moriarty takes me and Fran to the scans and carefully goes over them.

"what's that, that right there?? Those big spaces????

He patiently says "it's air, it's gas Karen." Oh

"okay what's all this crap over here?"

"It's dressing from your surgery that stays in there." Oh

"what's this junk, what's that?"

"it's this and your that." Oh

He compared my old, crap tumor-filled liver to the new liver the incredible genius Dr. Chamberlain gave me. It was a beautiful thing. My new liver has no holes, shadows and scary stuff in it. No cancer. And none anywhere else.


I'm still crying. I'm still stunned. People may think "well your cancer was already gone 6 months ago."
Well I don't know how other people are (who have/had cancer) but for me I live life one day at a time, and for now in every three month intervals, and thats not a complaint but just a fact of life for now, but the main thing is I live. I am so joyously happy. I feel a few more feet away from the nightmare, peeking around corners, carefully taking my steps.

Where would I be without Dr. Moriarty? I don't know. He will never know how much he means to me. He is an amazing, smart, wise doctor, who (in my opinion knows everything) he has saved my life and I love and adore him.

Where would I be without Kathy, Kim, Chris, Sonya, and Gina these nurses who are precious and priceless to me. They have helped carry me, push me and hold me for the last 2.5 years during the darkest time of my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you Dr. Chamberlain who is smart, agressive, and cares and respects his patients so much. Thank you for saving my life.

I just want people to know how amazing these people are. They are angels, they are healers, but to them they are just doing their jobs. I thank you God for each and every one of them.

I just want to thank all of you for your continued prayers and support. All of the comments, emails, notes, etc. really do mean so much to me. They fuel me and keep me going. I do continue to pray for you all.

Thank you to my husband and my children for sticking by me and loving me. And to my parents and siblings for all your love and support. Thank you to all my friends and the people who I hardly know who continue to carry and support and pray for me. There aren't enough words.


I am so very grateful, so humbled that I am still here. It does not escape me ever. Thank you merciful God.

With much love,
Karen

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karen - I am thrilled by your news. Colon cancer can be survived and you are living proof. Go spread the good news to those who are recently diagnosed or are in treatment - take this gift and give it forward.

Dobers said...

Your news is phenomenal! We are so happy for you and your family.

The Dobek's.

Donna R. said...

Karen and Francis,

As someone who is all too familiar with Stage 4 colon cancer, I can say that this news is just astounding. A miracle, aided by your physicians, God, and you. I am so grateful that you share this information with all of us as it restores my hope. We all must continue to push for, and fight, the war on cancer.
Blessings.

Kristin said...

Karen,
many tears of joy for you, and tears of knowing that awful waiting room fear, that awful/beautiful pointing at shadows on scans and asking, "what's that?" and "that's Supposed to be there?"...the reality of those 3 month intervals...we know...
I am just so happy for you, so very, very happy. You give hope to everyone, for real.

Now get some cake or something. 3 month scan yikes deserves some 3 month major cake action.
peace,
K & The Cams crew

Lena said...

Karen - this is SUCH AN AMAZING NEWS!!!!! I first read about it on Francis' Facebook page and was just so so so happy! I told Victor about it right away and he of course was thrilled as well. THIS IS AWESOME!!!! We are so happy for you guys!!!!

Love,

Lena and Victor

Christine Falk Dalessio said...

Karen:
we love you. this is such incredible news!!! what a great gift medicine is - and what a great hope prayer is. Celebrate!

Anonymous said...

Karen,

This is the ONLY kind of news that I want to hear from everyone fighting stage 4 colon cancer.

Thank God. You are always in my prayers.

Love always,
Mirjana

kp said...

Dear Karen,
I had heard that your scans had come back clear, but this is the first I time I read your post. It brought me to tears. You've been in my heart, thoughts and prayers for so long. You are a living miracle and I thank God for you. You rock, girl! BIG HUGS to you and the fam!
Love you lots!
K.P.

l'optimiste said...

Hi Karen, I jumped from your comment to this post - I haven't caught up with your whole blog, but this post had me in tears - I really identify with that feeling of dread, and just 'knowing' something is waiting...I was so chuffed to get half way down and find the happy news. Your Dr sounds fantastic. And having read the beginnings of your blog, your husband too.

I understand exactly how you feel. I have my next check in November and I am already thinking about it.

But isn't it the BEST feeling when you come out and it sinks in that you're ok? Yay you! :o)

MedTrakker said...

Wonderful News Karen! I know personally that a Cancer diagnosis demands so much from us; emotionally, physically and mentally. My heart felt sympathy goes out to anyone who is battling Cancer of any type.

In 2006, my Mother was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of 79. My Mother lost her battle 8 months later.
I created the MedTrakker... founded and inspired out of deep sorrow and personal experience.

MedTrakker is a Cancer Medical Organizer created to assist patients in tracking and organizing every aspect of there treatment care journey.
The MedTrakker was created to save patients and care givers the anxiety of "Starting from Scratch".

The Organizer allows the patient to record Important Contacts, Health and Treatment History, All of your appointments with a 1 year Calendar, Chart your daily or weekly Blood Counts. Side Effect Management, Insurance Discussions and more.
The Organizer also provides Nutritional Support, Physical Support and Motivational Support. Each section of the MedTrakker is designed to fit the needs of every Cancer patient and their Care Givers. Patients will interact with many health care providers aiding them in there treatment care. MedTrakker is a valuable resource tool in an easy-to-use format. Please visit us online http://www.MedTrakker.com
We donate 10% of our proceeds to LACO; a non-profit organization that helps families touched by cancer. http://laughatcancer.org

Blessing to all who are battling any type of Cancer!

ladyashely said...

hi...karen.it so amazing news..im so happy for you.just always pray..good luck..Elizabeth Wilcox

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Elizabeth Wilcox