Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wow...

Hello my friends. Well here it is. I had my 3 month scan done on August 11th. Saw my life-saving Dr. Moriarty on August 16th.

God blows you away with the bad in life, and then blows you away with the incredibly great!! My scan stated that in regards to my liver tumor it showed "continued improvement," and "minimal activity," oh and then there is my favorite "no new evidence of disease." Uh, yuh-huh, that's what I said too. But after being wound up tighter than anything, convinced the my lucky streak was due to be over, it took a day or two for the news to actually sink in.

This has been the best summer of my life, and after this past Tuesday, the happiest I have EVER been in my life. Since Tuesday I keep thinking back, back and back to when I met Dr. Moriarty. My body was dying then. I have thought about this a lot. I didn't realize it too much at the time, but over the last few years, how I had been internally physically feeling, how sick I was, yes, my body was dying. That is why right now at this minute I feel sheer, pure, happiness.

I have been off of chemo for a solid year (which adds to this miracle). I can feel life, taste life, like you can feel the moisture in the air on a humid day. When I go for walks lately sometimes I just stop, let the sun hit me and breathe in nice and deep, because I can, and nothing hurts, or aches, or burns.

Why I am still here, I do not know. I am genuinely stupefied. Why my body has responded to treatment well, yet no so well in my dear friends who have passed, I do not know. But I know I am very lucky, very grateful, and very humbled.

I have stage 4 colon cancer. I welcome the miracle along with the absurdity of being cured. That's easy to want, effortless even, but hard to come by. But I revel even in this, that still having cancer, I can live my life unimpeded. Striving to be a better person today than I was yesterday, because each day I wake up I feel like God swoops down and hands me this crystal clear, beautiful present. I open it each morning and inside is today. I say to Him "thank you God for the gift of life today."

Deeply, deeply I thank you for all your prayers and support, love and friendship. I am so grateful to you all. And to Dr. Moriarty, my coach, my healer, my friend thank you for getting me so very far. I am forever indebted to you.

Much love,
Karen

8 comments:

Kent said...

That was the most beautiful post I have ever read. God bless!!

Lena Antaramian said...

Karen - that is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing i've read. So inspiring! So so happy for you!

Love - Lena and Victor

Anonymous said...

Karen I am genuinely so happy for you, your husband and young children. Such wonderful news. I only read your blog over the past few days as it was mentioned in the comments (I think by your husband) on the blog of a young irish woman going thru stage 4 breast cancer with a young family. Like you she also is an inspiration and an incredible young woman. I really believe in mind over matter and having a positive and fighting spirit. I hope you have a wonderful time relaxing and spending time with your husband and children knowing you are doing so well and have got such great results. It goes without saying your relief must be amazing. I can feel it myself reading your latest blog entry. I wasn't even going to check for an update this evening as it had been a while since your last entry so I was so delighted I did have a quick look! thank god for iPhones!!! Mind yourself. Aisling (Dublin, Ireland)

Lucida said...

That is absolutely fantastic news Karen. I've been following your blog here in Dublin Ireland and I am so delighted for you, your husband and young family. I can only imagine the relief you feel and i hope you have a wonderful time relaxing and enjoying time with your family now that you've got such good news! The power of positive thinking and your strength of spirit have come up trumps!!! A

Teresa Loughnane said...

Karen,
You are truly an amazing and inspiring person... and an incredibly poetic writer too! Have you ever thought of becoming an author?! Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way. All our love
Teresa and co.xx
P.S. Aoife has just come over to the computer and sent you a big kiss!

Brid Shanahan said...

Hi Karen, Just read your blog update. I am so so happy for you and for Francis, Sydney and Ethan. It's great news and wonderful that you are able to enjoy life together. We all continue to remember you in prayer and to thank God with you. It's an encouragement and support to many others who are struggling with cancer. Lots of love to you, to Francis, Sydney & Ethan. Brigid

Brid Shanahan said...

Hi Karen, This is just wonderful news. I'm delighted for you, Francis and children. Great to know you're enjoying life and had such a good summer. We continue to keep you in our prayers and thank God every day with you. Love galore and God bless. Brigid

Jo said...

A bit late writingbut delighted for you all having such great news.You are great to rejoice and be greatful for what is positive Karen. It is wonderful for Frances, Sydney and Ethan that you use all your energies on the good things life gives you. It can so easily be wasted on negatives. Love galore to you all. Advent is here so let us hope for more and more good gifts. Love Jo (Nenagh Ireland).